Why someone thought (and clearly still thinks) Lil Mama has the authority to judge anything is beyond me, especially a dance competition. Every week that I watch America's Best Dance Crew, I question Lil Mama's relevance in, well anything. My homie NaturallyAlise is with me on this. And Lil Mama's foolish appearance often adds to our urge to throw sharp objects at the TV. Here are the brief heartfelt letters we'd love for Lil Mama to read. They're short because we realize she can't read anything too long. Hehe, besides, we did these while on Twitter.
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, Didn't we talk about this shit last week? One word. Stylist. Yours Truly, Alise.
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, What material is your hairhat made out of? K.I.T., Alise
Luvvie: Dear lil mama, yung lee @ beauty supply said ur hairhat was a polyurethane blend. Is that true? Just asking, Luvvie
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, What kind of name is Lil' Mama for a boy? Just checking, Alise
Luvvie: Dear lil mama, u were that child left behind. I blame our schools. U inarticulate buffoon, u. Foolishly, Luvvie
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, Please shut up before I give you something to cry about. TTYL! Alise
Luvvie: Dear lil mama, ur wet n wild #48 lipgloss is no longer popping. Go sat down. Sinsurrly awesome, Luvvie
Alise: Dear Lil Mama, You look like a clown on acid. Sin-scare-ly, Alise
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, You look like a bedazzled bellhop. Fuck outta here. Best, Alise
Luvvie: Dear Lil Mama, your obsession with rhinestones offends my ego and my Id. Please cease and desist. Luvvie Esq.
Alise: Iwant to shoot her in the temple with a bedazzler, glittery heffah....
Alise: I want to throw sequins and sand in her eyes
Luvvie: Looking at Lil Mama gives me cataracts. REAL talk. They may be psychosomatic, but they r cataracts nonetheless
Alise: She is causing macular degeneration over here, ol ocular offender faced llama.
Luvvie: I think the vision of Lil Mama scratched my retina and scarred my iris.
Alise: She pulled my eyelashes out one by one to add to her hairhat... selfish bitch.
This was actually one of her better outfits *shaking head*We really hope these get through to her. We roast because we care.
Luvvie
6 comments:
hahahahahahaha @ bedazzled bellhop
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, What kind of name is Lil' Mama for a boy? Just checking, Alise
Alise: Iwant to shoot her in the temple with a bedazzler, glittery heffah....
Luvvie: I think the vision of Lil Mama scratched my retina and scarred my iris.
_______________________________________________________ Time of death after resurrection...12:17pm
Dear Lil Mama:
There is a fine line between an outfit and a 'get-up'.
Thanks for this blog.
I can't take it anymore. This blog is way tooooo funny to read at work or in any type of quiet environment. LMAO
LOL! Your lipgloss is no longer poppin. HAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA!
*Buried myself and then died.
I'm late, I know, but that's ok.
I don't know what killed me more:
Luvvie: Dear lil mama, u were that child left behind. I blame our schools. U inarticulate buffoon, u.
or
Alise: Dear Lil' Mama, You look like a bedazzled bellhop. Fuck outta here. Best, Alise
or
Alise: She is causing macular degeneration over here, ol ocular offender faced llama.
I think I wet myself.
Mielle
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