Also on my blog so don't be alarmed.
America, we need to raise our standards for celebrity status. Our standards are lower than Michael Jackson's credit score. In '09, let's try to have more people who are famous for you know, actually having talent, skills, and/or relevance. There are too many celebrities walking around these parts with Nary N'AN a skill. It's like mediocrity is the new Black.
*The Kardashians - I hate the fact that they are actually getting space on blogs who write about their antics and whatnot. They are purposeless and are truly famous for NOTHING. Folks talk about how Paris Hilton is famous for no reason. Yes, she has a reason (s
he has kept Pfizer's stock sky high. Psht. All her need for valtrex. She is helping the economy, one pill at a time But I digress...) Kim and Khloe Kardashian are known for... oh yeah Kim's big stank ridiculous ass (yesh I'm jealous. So what???) and... Oh yes, her sex tape with the Mayor of Irrelevantville himself...
*Ray J - Dude is more famous for d*cking Kim Kardashian down than anything else. As well as being Whitney Houston's newest Hairhat holder (Which I STILL don't understand). He hasn't had a gig since Moesha, and I really think Brandy oughta be tired of paying her brother's water, light and Blockbuster bills by now. I can't take him. And to add insult to injury, this fool is walking around thinkin he is sexy. No, just... NO. He released a subpar song called "Sexy, Can I" and I say HELL NAW you can't. Now, he is officially a Z-list celebrity, having secured his own Vh1 show (For the Love of Ray J). *Sigh* I admit that I do watch it because I am a fan of fuckery. A Fiend for foolishness. A freak for folly. A follower for frenzy. That ish is addictive. But still... Ray J, your 15 minutes of fame expired in precisely 1997. Exit Stage left. Thanx.
he has kept Pfizer's stock sky high. Psht. All her need for valtrex. She is helping the economy, one pill at a time But I digress...) Kim and Khloe Kardashian are known for... oh yeah Kim's big stank ridiculous ass (yesh I'm jealous. So what???) and... Oh yes, her sex tape with the Mayor of Irrelevantville himself...*Ray J - Dude is more famous for d*cking Kim Kardashian down than anything else. As well as being Whitney Houston's newest Hairhat holder (Which I STILL don't understand). He hasn't had a gig since Moesha, and I really think Brandy oughta be tired of paying her brother's water, light and Blockbuster bills by now. I can't take him. And to add insult to injury, this fool is walking around thinkin he is sexy. No, just... NO. He released a subpar song called "Sexy, Can I" and I say HELL NAW you can't. Now, he is officially a Z-list celebrity, having secured his own Vh1 show (For the Love of Ray J). *Sigh* I admit that I do watch it because I am a fan of fuckery. A Fiend for foolishness. A freak for folly. A follower for frenzy. That ish is addictive. But still... Ray J, your 15 minutes of fame expired in precisely 1997. Exit Stage left. Thanx.
*Perez Hilton - I'm REALLY trying to find the huge appeal in Perez and how he got to be this blogging extraordinaire that he is today. And he is even famous beyond blogging now. I find him quite obnoxious, and his snark isn't even that good. Him drawing random white lines on people's pictures makes not an interesting read. There are a couple of times that I will chuckle at his site, but I have never full on cackled. AND the information he has, other bloggers like concreteloop and theybf.com have them. Plus, I'm sorry but Perez looks like he is on a strict 2 showers a week diet. He just looks like his essence ain't clean. Like his aura is the color of pickle juice. He may need some Drano or Ajax to get clean. He just looks dingy and moldy. He looks like he smells like hypocrisy and luck. The fool is famous and can't nothing but luck explain it. And, he is good for calling celebrities fat when he looks like he could stand to dilute himself of some carbs and cholesterol *rolls eyes*. And the multi-colored hair? EEWWW! Makes him look like a leprechaun skittled on his head. Perez, please go SAT DOWN!
*Estelle - I'm not saying she's not talented, but nothing about her talent is more than average. She is regular as hell to me. Her voice ain't mind blowing or nothing, and I feel like I could hear someone with a better voice at a high school talent show. Plus, she isn't extraordinarily beautiful. I ain't saying she ugly, because her face is actually decent.
Some folks who are famous are average (or even subpar) talent-wise, but are so ridiculously good-looking that you let them pass (see: Rihanna, Cassie, Gabrielle Union, LisaRaye).
Plus, Estelle's teeth (pre-braces) haunted my hopes and dreams (and even the unicorns that are supposed to guide them ran away). NONE of her teeth was on the same page at all. Just disagreeable with one another. Them teefs look like they could chew up some sh*t. Like they need some handlers to hold them back. They are scary @ me. If she fellated her way to fame, I hope she didn't rip someone's foreskin with that wild grill of hers. If they weren't circumcised before, an encounter with her would probably guarantee that they were. I just... can't.
Damn, now I feel bad. Estelle actually seems like a nice chick. Like we could kick it (you know, as long as she gets them teeth fixed. I'd hate to be somewhere hanging with her, get a glimpse of her wonky teeth and scream bloody murder.
Yes, I am aware that after this post, my chances of entering them Glittering Pearly Gates of Glory are getting slimmer, but the Good Lawd knows my heart! Lawd, please forgive me for I have IGed. Alls I try to do is tell the truth and put that stank ass Beezlebub to shame. I even used a tiny bit of brain filter.
Luvvie-kins
3 comments:
Oh Luvvie, you are IG at it's finest! "None of her teeth was on the same page"?! I swear fo God, I'm gonna use that one in everyday conversation!
I love your evisceration of Kimmmy "Watamelon Booty" K and Perez "Please Bathe, Shave and Run a few Miles" Hilton.
Both of them are so highly irrelevant, that I really don't care they breathe the same oxygenated atmosphere I do. Okay, I just made my own stomach turn. **apologizes to tummy** I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean it.
I actually think Estelle looks like a cool chick. Her voice isn't extrodinary and she has great bone structure... well, errywhere 'cept her teefus... but she can work on that.
And her song "Come Over" got me sneak attacked... so she's all good in the land of Sweet Blackberries.
Oh man... I fogots about Ray J... that's how irrelevant he is. I read your post and promptly forgot you wrote about him.... HA!
Post a Comment
Post a Comment