House of IG

Well, it has been an interesting last 12 days or so since the last installment of PCPO…interesting to say the MOST really. I can’t lie – I’ve 1) been distracted with a show that I am currently in and 2) its been kind of boring. Sure you had your, your ‘drama’ here and your ‘scandal update’ there…but it hasn’t been as riveting as it usually is in the world of Culture de Pop. So, I have scoured and searched to bring you the following edition of Pop Culture Pop Off! Let me start with a throwback to my childhood:

Hello again to all my friends, I’m glad you came to play. Our fun and learning never ends. Here’s what we did today!

FOIST (first) POP OFF: Cee Bee and Ree Ree v. TMZ
Ooh Lawd…TMZ somehow, someway got they hands on that post-attack pictorial of Ree Ree. And when I see’d her…I didn’t know what to say! Cee Bee just went TOO FAR! Reports conflict on the beginning of the situation, but we have visual proof of the ending and it does NOT justify the means! I don’t care if she was slapping him all up in his yella face, a man can hold a woman or even a quick shove to get her off of him – he doesn’t have to go Blanka from Street Fighter on her. And then he had the nerve to release a statement talking about some (to paraphrase of course) “I’m talkin’ to my momma and preacher about it.” You need to be talking to the Sheriff! Ain’t no reason you free…but perhaps him being out is the best thing. This way he can watch first hand as his career goes up in flames.

POP OFF DEUX (...did I spell that right? Ah, well…): Everybody v. The Jacksons
*Suggested by KindredSmile* I was looking for something to write about in this hurr PCPO and my soul had wearied. Then good ol’ KindredSmile sent me this l’ank:
http://www.gadling.com/2009/02/17/jackson-five-museum-theme-park-to-be-built-on-nigerian-slave-gr/
If you read the above, then you already know. But in case you didn’t, let me summarize the story: *pause* The damn Jacksons want to build a theme park and memorabilia museum on a former slave port in Nigeria. Now, I try my BEST to be calm throughout my day. Really, I do. I usually fail in those attempts, but I do try. This here? This mess HERE, people?! MM MMM. Naw, not never. How DARE you, Jacksons! Just because you have all had enough plastic surgery to make it LOOK like you are not descendents of slaves doesn’t mean you can go to that ground and desecrate what it stood for with holograms of ya’ll singing “ABC”! It is NOT easy as 1,2,3 and IF plans actually move forward, I think I might have to look them up in person and go pure Joseph on them. *Note: in order to understand that, you must have seen “The Jacksons: An American Dream* This is not only shocking and appalling, its also disgusting. Jacksons: just stay in the house. Just – STAY.

TRES POP OFF: ME v. Things That Upset My LifeSpace
1) The Jonas Brothers have a movie coming out. I think its in 3-D. *pause* The only thing worse than the Jonas Brothers is the Jonas Brothers REAL CLOSE.

2) I enjoy Tyler Perry. I do! But “Madea Goes to Jail” was awful. I wish I would have waited for it to get online and watched it with all of my illegalness for the free. It was two COMPLETELY separate stories that made no sense together in the same film. A movie is not a half hour sitcom, Tyler – you can’t just throw storylines together and pray it works. Its like he’s moving backwards in his filmmaking. I know it’s a recession, but DAMN.

3) I will not watch American Idol until the top 12 and only sporadically then.

POP OFF FINALE: The Oscars v. …well, everything else I guess.
I would have done another special edition but I figured it was kind of a waste of time. Especially since I only saw about half an hour of the show. But I will quickly assess my feelings.
I only watch award shows for 1) the fashions and 2) the performances. Honestly, the awards themselves are tertiary at best. If it’s a category I’m really interested in, then I shall tune in but other than that, its all very MEH to me. With that being said, here’s a POP OFF QUICK DRAW:

QD 1!) Taraji Henson and Viola Davis was robbed in the Best Supporting Actress category! I enjoy Penelope Cruz but I didn’t see that crap moive she made and I won’t. Taraji and Viola KIL’T it in their roles in “Benjamin Button” and “Doubt” respectively. At least they can charge an extra $5 MIL for their roles now.

QD 2!) Beyonce. *shakes head* Lawd, Lawd, LAWD! Beyonce, when will you let this House of D(isaste)Reon thing GO?! That dress you put on yo body. That DRESS YOU put on yo BODY, Jesu…you looked like a crotchety old Asian woman’s curtain set from 1983. Or a comforter set from Family Dollar in 2007. I can’t figure out what’s worse. The mermaid cut (which you REFUSE to let go even though you got more hips than Mo’Nique workout tape cast) or that awful, gaudy fabric. What were you thinking? THROWBACK ALERT: When I say "No, no, no, no, no!" I mean it for that dress, dress, dress, dress, dress!!!

QD 3!) And did you REALLY have to perform at the Oscars…AGAIN???! I am SO tired of Beyonce being the “Go To” girl. She is EVERYWHERE. I mean, seriously – its like people just sit in meetings waiting for an opportunity to have a female performer and then hit Bey in their speed dial. Couldn’t they have looked further than DOWN THE STREET for a singer? I don’t know, maybe one who could, ya know – ACT too? So livid.

QD 4!) John Legend, I’m going to say this to you once and once only: the next time you put on a suit and you can see your blood cells moving through your veins, that suit is TOO FITTED. Take it off and loosen them SEAMS! Yes, you have been working out. You’re a handsome chap. But if you wear one of them epidermis-tight suits one mo’ time, you are hereby cut from my lifespace in its entirety.

QD 5!) Another shoutout to Taraji: you looked good, girl. Ya looked GOODt.

That’s it. That’s all I got. I’ll be leaving you now. I’m at work and essentially the state is paying me to write a blog right now. *pause* Yeeah, I better get go. Peace!