So the ePosse and I were on Twitter last night while ANTM was on, and we were mad irked by Sandra, this season's token African chick. Her hair situation was hella unfortunate and we went IN on her. Btw, on Twitter, we are @LuvvieIg, @naturallyalise, @ThePBG, @Zayden1.
Luvvie: Sandra's edges ranaway with Stevie Wonder's hairline. The underground railroad is CROWDED with fugitive follicles.
PBG: They're divorcing her hair line on the grounds of irreconcilable differences. Pack'd up and left!
Luvvie: Sandra's hairline is a victim of the recession. It got repo'ed.
ZeeBaby: sandra's hair looks like its playing tug o war, stop claiming africa!
Luvvie: Damn rite! That heffa aint no kin of mine looking like an upside down paintbrush. Hair just wispy for no reason.
ZeeBaby: sandra's split ends bout to cut themselves
NaturallyAlise: Her hair is playing hood basketball with a crate for the hoop... real sparse
NaturallyAlise: naw, her edges were deported. ol illegal alien hairline, hmph...
PBG: Sandra can make a bed out of her fallen follicles. Just nest, bitch.
Luvvie: Sandra's edges are somewhere wading in the water
ZeeBaby: i think its sad that sandra's hair started a brush fire and burned that talia as a baby. rude!
NaturallyAlise: She in NY, and her edges took the Midnight Train to Georgia.... I've got to go-I've to gooooo ....
PBG: Send Sandra some Blue Magic hair pomade and some brussell sprouts.
NaturallyAlise: Her parched follicles hopped in the Deleorean, stopped by the Chinese Juke Joint, and then burnt the baby, I could see that....
NaturallyAlise: no she didnt!!!!!!!!! apparently her common sense got deported along with her hairline
Luvvie: Umm... Sandra w/ the Aunt Jemima scarf on = the haunting of all my hopes and dreams.
PBG: She's dampened all my aspirations and intentions.
Luvvie: She looked like Blackface epitomized. iCant w/ Sandra.
Luvvie: She placed a murky, dank blanket on my ambitions and long term plans.
Luvvie: YESSS b/c her hairline is dead azz wrong indeed. Aint no reason for her edges 2 start at the back of her neck. Not. cool.about 3 hours ag
Luvvie: First degree Dream-cide with intentions to oppress.
NaturallyAlise: Voluntary Dreamslaughter, for shame.
Luvvie: Gurl her hairline is in Special Ed. And it missed the short yellow bus to school this morning
NaturallyAlise: Mis-dream-meanor larceny... ol' stealing heffa...
PBG: Hairline is in the Witness Protection Program. We won't neva see it no mo'!
Luvvie: Aiding and Abedding the degradation of follicles
PBG: Accessory before, after and during the fact of missing strands
NaturallyAlise: Baby Hair Neglect... gotta take care of da kids...
PBG: Call FPS on her. Follicle Protection Svcs.
NaturallyAlise: hell yes! LMAO!!! and the FBI - Follicle Breakage Investigation
ZeeBaby: sandra's scalp: i plead the fif!
NaturallyAlise: 1234-FIFF... Imma read her temples Miranda rights...
Luvvie: Sandra wouldnt be so clownable if her attitude wasnt so piss poor. Her attitude is a homeless crackhead w/ bad credit
ZeeBaby: dang, sandra's scalp said 23 hrs in the hole aint nothin! i been castaway my whole life
NaturallyAlise: her scalp aint got nuffin' to lose... ATTICA!
PBG: Her hair is like kindling.
NaturallyAlise: Naw, Sandra is Vitamin H Deficient (H=Hairline)
iQuit our ePosse Quadrangle. We stoopid! Anyway, I was so heated that I had to write Tyra Banks a sternly-worded letter over at my blog. I hopes she replies with explanations.
Luvvie
27 comments:
Well methinks we may have officialy ARRIVED here at the House d'IG. Our first hater comment.
Dear Anonymous,
YAYYY!! U think we're funny sometimes?? I can die a happy woman now. I'm glad you think we're funny sometimes. You think we're lame most of the time though? *Sigh* I must find the nearest cliff and promptly jump off it. And since you decided to comment Anonymously, I'm also glad to see you got your eBalls game on lock. You're clearly a thug *side-eye*
K.I.T.
Luvvie
P.S. See that Red X on the upper right hand corner? Just use it next time we bore you. Kthnx!
I love hate comments...
and especially hate emails.
You have offish arrived.
We got a hater! *jukin'*
I don't know about the rest of the ePosse, but I promise you I am elated. This means we're about to blow up! Now, where we'll go from this jumping off point has yet to be seen, but it's gonna be major.
We major, homies...WE MAJOR!!
(prolly one of those black snobs you went canoodlin' w/last weekend, Luvvie. LOL!)
I love how someone gone come up on YOSPACE, your little nook on the intrawebs, and tell you what "you really need" to do.
Dear Anon,
Bye!
ps) carol's daughter is yo friend
I think I listened somewhere this week on how Jermaine Dupri said that the haters always seem to be the ones reading a website and voicing their 'hate'. You'd think haters would spend more times on the sites the love...lol!
Matt, you are so right. We are officially HERE TO STAY!!! *throws confetti*
PBG - LOL. Gurl, folks take themselves too seriously and need to go sat down
ZeeBaby - Aint that something?? Th ONLY thing I NEED to do is stay Black and love the Lord.
Fungke - For once, I approve JD's message.
thanks for posting this I miss your back and forth on Twitter since I haven't been on...what a great (read lame per your anonymous guest) way to start my morning, I love a good hair roast.
E-Thugs, wait...ANONYMOUS E-Thugs make me feel all warm inside! Yess, you have officially arrived. lol
I was watching ANTM last night and I must say I can not STAND Sandra. But this hair roast is indeed classic! :-)
We done made it, the hater probably has issues with their hairhat situation and they are projecting on us, they on some PSYCH 101 shit...
Only some good ole fashioned haterade with extra salt can inspire me to write the only comment I've left in months...
Twitter convos are the bee's knees, a way to get concentrated IG one-liners in one explosive post. Hater McPissypants should brush up on the IG Commandments once more and again.
Yes!!! yYall are coming up in the world. You know you ain't made it until someone hates on you in disguise or someone starts a rumor that you're gay.
Let me know when y'all need a publicist. :-)
*peeks in*
I heart you all!!
*tip toes out back to work*
Here I is... late as usual.
First off.... *snicker* at Anonymous.
To Luvvie: Girrrrrl. I done told you about leavin the gate open. Sensitive folk be wandering around looking for... whatever. They ain't gon find it here!
**And if you don't like it then just go find another blog!!!**
(I'm sooooo sorry. I just couldn't resist.)
Secondly, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I don't watch ANTM... hell, I don't watch TV, so I can't comment on ole girl's disposition. But she BET NOT be misrepresenting the Continent. The fact that she is follicularly challenged in the hairline area is enough for me to find her and put some CHALE' in her mouth. Teach her a lesson.
I'm just tripping that the anonymous chick is sitting here today reading and responding more than you Luvvie....
Wow...
I enjoyed the twitter convos...maybe it's just one of those had to be there things...
Normally I tend to eschew back and forth f*ckery with folk who just don't get it... but I'm leaving my office early today and I really don't feel like doing any more work soooo....
Anonymous, I feel like I need to talk to you, friend. Feel free to ignore me, or verbally assault me or whatever. My little e-feelings can take it.
I find a couple of things you said interesting/amusing but also puzzling. I'll address each one independently and clearly so that you "HEAR" me.
1. You tell Luvvie that she should not post her Twitter convos because they are only 'sometimes' funny, it seems like she's running out of material, etc.
Ummmm... NEWSFLASH. This is HER blog. Yes, she has other writers and they SHARE this piece of the blogosphere, but you don't see THEM complaining. And as far as I can tell, they are the only ones who have a RIGHT to do so. YOU really don't. If YOU don't like it, then wait until a week when one of the other writers posts something and READ THAT. Or you can continue to read Luvvie's entries as well and not comment. Or you can continue your current activities and look like an ass. Hell, America is the Land of the Free... you have CHOICES.
And who made you the King/Queen of BlogLand that you can run around telling people what they should and shouldn't post. If you don't think its good. Fine. But I don't take to telling folks where to plant their ass to take a sh*t.
2. You take some kind of issue with the use of "Hater" particularly as it applies to you.
I understand this actually. I am BORED with its over- and incorrect usage. But really? You're going to harp on this? Methinks you need to get an e-life.
3. I think Robin is correct. If you don't like it, please feel free to browse elsewhere. **note this is not me telling you not to come back, start your own blog (though this would be a good idea since you have so many pronouncements and pontifications to make, or what have you**
But truly, if this entry offends you so, then just don't waste the energy.
**sigh**
I'm done. I have a plane to catch.
Fare thee well Anonymous and good luck in finding bloggers that CONSISTENTLY, WITHOUT FAIL will please you.
Oh and by the way... next time you want to be critical of someone's personal blog, how about you wear your ovaries/testes on the outside and post under your handle.
Thanks.
Aside: Sorry for the length Luvvster!
You know what...fukk all this playing nice.
Anon, if you think Luvvie's post is lame and all the rest of the shyt you posted here, then wouldn't the grown up thing to do be to just click off this page and not come back?
But no, you have to come back again and again to spew vitriol and angst, ugliness and disdain...just because. I mean seriously, who the fukk are you anyway...Sandra herself? Bish, please. You are buggin'.
If our Twitter convo ain't your cup of tea, then just don't turn it up to your raggely-azz mouth. Go drink some sugar/water/purple,or whatever makes your booty toot. I guarantee that there are at least 1,937 other brand new posts on other blogs today. One of them should be to your liking.
Now, I'm not about to do the whole "back n' forth" over the internet w/you cuz I'm not that kind of girl. I'd much rather theorize, analyze and shoot the sh*t-erize on the tenets of my e-Sis' comedic worth in person. The next time you're in the Capital City, let me know because we can always meet for coffee and talk it out, my treat. Cuz I'm nice like that.
Hilarious sh!t! esp at the response to that hatin azz hater comment. tsk tsk. That twitter convo had me on my knees.....beggin for mercy and to Hair Gods....Lord please bless my hairline!
You make some very valid points, Blackberry, and I appreciate your comments. We're all entitled to our opinions, and we're all free to share, so I thank you for yours. I won't even battle with you because there's really no need. I felt like making a suggestion to Luvvie on HER blog, yes, but I feel I was being more helpful than anything. If you folks don't feel the same, that's fine. I have no handle, and I don't care to create one because I don't usually comment on Blogger. That's why I'm anonymous.
My name is Candace - I have no problem letting you know who I am.
I hope you have a pleasant flight, Blackberry.
Anon is comical. Bish tryna tell me my locs ain't luxurious when I know they are! W00t! *tosses locs back ever so elegantly* This here is the closest to perfection the mortal plane shall ever know. Just cuz I say so.
I've made a conscious decision to leave it all behind and not act a fool w/fools on the internet.
Good day, Miss/Mr. Thang.
Dear Luvvie & ePosse,
WHAT SHE SAIDDDD??? SHE AIN'T NO DIIIVAAA!!!!!
...so carry on...
good day good beautiful luvvly black ppl.
~Gemmie
Robin, Iunno why they gotta have the token African looking busted on ANTM. There are many of us who could give LIFE and Tyra picks Surly-maned Sandra. *sad face*
I would do Sandra a solid and donate a few of my locs to be dispersed amongst her edges, but her attitude is so stank, I don't wanna do a damn thing for her. Let her stay busted. Hmph!
She should've gone home last nite! Going halfway down the runway, like a bona fide modeling 'tard.
Wait! That's it! Her helmet rubbed out her edges!
Don't ya'll just love "A-ha Moments"?? (No Oprah).
Sandra had the nerve to be walking down the runway like she had a dislocated hip. I was DYING. This cant be all Africa has to offer. There are some of us that dont walk like 80-something geriatrics. Po thang
I have a question....
Why is Anonymous still posting as...*drum roll* Anonymous? lol Go SAT down somewhere!
"Bish tryna tell me my locs ain't luxurious when I know they are!"
CTFU! This whole thing is a hot mess, I aint got the time, but gemmy said it best.
what she said? she aint no diiivaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
sandra's hairhat is the follicualrly challenged version of a healthy scalp...of a healthy scalp..of a healthy scalp...
anon, you should join twitter!
carry on.
@KindredSmile lmao @ "Hater McPissypants." Classic!
@Anonymous, grow a set and take credit for your opinions, or shut yer yap! Twitter rocks, and the ePosse are collectively some of the funniest folks walkin! Get over yourself.
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