House of IG

To wrap up Guest Bloggers Week here at the House d'IG, I'd like to thank everyones, everyones. All my guest bloggers for being ridiculously IGtastic. SavvyFatty, K to the..., PBG and NaturallyAlise are DE BEST!!! I would like to give all of y'all an IG gift basket that includes some: common sense, a "Sat Down and reassess your life" coupon and some act right. But alas, I can't afford all that. So alls I gots to give is MY gratitude, my IG and some Carol's Daughter hair products to NaturallyAlise. Would do her cactus follicles a world of great.

Anywho, for those that missed this week, scroll down to catch up on some EPIC roasts. I mean, If I haven't mastered the art of silent cackles, yours truly may be unemployed. I cackled, snortd ad chortled at the foolishness. Whoo, good times!

To keep the IG going, I pose you the question:

Can toothless people chew on a thought?

Discuss.

While we wait for Tardy McCPtime Face (today's Guest Blogger) to send me her entry, I will pose you a question.

Can a man without fingers show that he wants World Peace?

Discuss.

Hey IGvillers!!! Next week is "Guest Bloggers Week" on both this blog, and at Awesomely Luvvie. The theme is "ROAST" and we got some true IGs lined up to provide roasts on whatever they please. I promise it will prove to be pure hilarity. So stay tuned...

Luvvie

***PLEASE NOTE: This was originally written Sept. 5, 2008***

Usually I would not do this (at least not in written form), but I have recently come across some rather disturbing news. This news, so upsetting, so unrelenting in its absurdity, has caused me to wake from my peaceful, rant-free sleep to a world that I barely recognize full of wrath and anger the likes of which burn in a thousand suns!!! --

Beyonce is playing Etta James in a movie and has another CD coming out in two months.

...I try not to hate. Really I do. I believe that Beyonce has a wonderful voice and when used properly has the ability to propel her and the blessed audience into the stratosphere. And she can perform like very few others can, balancing singing and dancing exquisitely. The problem is that she rarely uses her voice properly, choosing to instead grunt and growl at inopportune moments like a slightly irritated old Black man upon meeting someone for the first time. Furthermore, she tries to throw 87 notes into 4 seconds of air time and thats just not right. I always envision a producer on the other side of the recording booth saying, "Ok, B, we have about 6 seconds of track left. We think we just gon' smooth it out and let the beat fade out." And then Beyonce responds, in that trying-to-be-classy-but-st

Since this note/survey has apparently replaced "youthful marriage" as the "new black," I decided to make it my first official post on the blog. *in 17th century dialect* HAVE AT YOU!

1. I am not a long term thinker. I tend to do better in quick bursts of knowledge. Case in point - in high school, I graduated with a 2.6 GPA but got a 26 on the ACT my first and only time taking it (outside of the prep test for it). -- or maybe I just like the digits 2 & 6...*shrugs shoulders*

2. I know that its not true, but for whatever reason I still believe that Virgos can't read.

3. I'm an incredibly opinionated person but try not to be. When people ask something like "What do you wanna eat?" or "What do you wanna watch?" I say, "Oh whatever you want is fine..." when I actually know EXACTLY what I want to watch AND what I want to eat WHILE I watch it AND even what position I want to be in WHEN I'm doing all of these things. Reason: Nobody likes an a-hole.

4. I'm kind of an a-hole. I can't help it. Things bother me. A LOT. And I need to voice my disdain with it. Say for example, a drive thru having a Braille menu. *pause* REALLY?! No one sees this as a problem?

5. I own every season of Charmed on dvd and will probably fight someone to the death over its goodness. I once got into an argument so heated over it, I called the people I was arguing with "commoners" and "ignorant peons." Yeah...its THAT serious.

6. I used to be remarkably insecure. I thought that no one would ever find me appealing in any way for many years and that made me very sad. Then one day I looked up and decided to try liking myself. That 'like' turned to 'love' and that 'love' turned into LIFE. I appreciate everything and for all my complaining, am thankful for everyone and everything; it ALL has its place. Now I'm pretty.

7. One of the greatest things I've learned since graduating college (because yeah, you still learn after college - some people don't know that...) is that the Lord will only put what you can bear on you -- but that also includes the GOOD stuff too. I've lost several very close people to me over the last few years, not to death but more so 'natural causes.' And every time, every SINGLE time, I was blessed with new friends and new circles of love that didn't necessarily replace the old, just renewed my belief that certain things happen only when they're supposed to.

8. I'm very impatient (but often run late for things; I would hate being on the other side of me sometimes). But I really want locks, I just want them to grow overnight. I don't know how to cook and am reluctant to learn partly because it takes too long - I would much rather order in and watch a show while waiting for the food to come.

9. I like calling men "Sir" and women "Lady." ---- Don't know why.

10. I got high for the first and only time in my life last year. I was sitting straight up and then started feeling like I was leaning over to my side and about to fall but I knew that I wasn't and that made me start giggling. Then I got scared 'cuz I thought everyone could hear my thoughts - partly 'cuz I was shouting them. So I tried to think a whole bunch of things at once so nobody could tell what I was thinking, which meant I was basically yelling nonsense for about 12 minutes. Long story short - *insert shooting rainbow star* The More You Know.

11. I hate losing control. And its the most ironic of my things that I hate because we as people have so little control over anything. Maybe thats why I hate losing it... things that make ya go *hmmm*

12. I have very little idea what my next step should be. I for the longest time knew that I would be a reporter but since July 08 have determined that I need to follow my dream of performing and so I now want to do musical theatre/Broadway. Should I go back to school? Do I just audition for stuff? Do I move to New York? Should I stay in Chicago? Should I quit my job? What do I want to eat? *wait* Well you see where this is going... I have asked several people "in the know," but they always introduce additional options which only leads to additional questions.

13. OOH! This is a good one!!! - I found out that...well...let me phrase it this way: Ok, so ya know how I can say about someone "Oh I like that sweater, but why did he wear that hat?" or "Thats a nice dress, but not on her"??? I found out via my aunt just last year that my mom (R.I.P.) used to do the EXACT SAME THING. I never knew that! And it made me feel so much more connected to my mama. It allowed me to accept many things in me knowing that she would have probably accepted them too.

14. I can't sleep with socks on or with the bedroom door open unless a light is on outside of the door. Don't judge me!

15. I don't use a do-rag. They've never worked for and I don't think they ever will.

16. If I have something important or big coming up in my life, the seven days before the event I brush my teeth 3 times a day for at least 7 minutes each time. I do 2-3 'preps' of just water, no toothpaste. Then I add the toothpaste and brush every single part of my mouth. I only trust Crest products and I only use a Crest Spinbrush toothbrush. If I'm feeling fancy, I then use mouthwash. OCD? I don't think so.


LibraSong