House of IG

Originally posted in Oct. 23, 2008

*Sigh* in this here recession that we have found ourselves, having a job is a good thing. But watching this video put all of that in jeopardy. Kindred and I watched this vid yesterday afternoon while at work, and the fact that we still have jobs is a miracle akin to seeing Amy Winehouse sober. Watch it and then see our running commentary on it. Epic Roast!!



Luvvie: first this heffa starts with her off key song. Who in the hell is she serenading?? Oh she is feeling herself. Swooping her greasy bang and errthang
Kindred: where is her neck? I seriously might p*ss myself
Luvvie: lmao
Kindred: The vid is called "scarlet takes a tumble". Is that not enough foreshadowing?! Omg this vid is just delicious
Kindred: lol at her holding the smile before starting to film. And oh wow her hair's not moving. I think everybody has someone like this in their church choir. Where’s her neck? So, is this what a tenement looks like?
Luvvie: lmao at her changing shoes. She getting REST to kill
Kindred: is all her stuff in this room?
Luvvie: lol that’s an empty shell of a room. Oooo check out her sexy walk. GET EM GIRL!
Kindred: She's struggling with those wedges
Luvvie: The stomp on the table is hilarious
Kindred: wow, she hopped up on that table quick
Luvvie: hahahah the table's creaking already
Kindred: She is knock kneed like a mug. This can't go well
Luvvie: It’s like "bish imo give u 2 warnings to get off me. Get off me or feel my wrath
Kindred: what's with the flailing arms?

*Scarlet falls*


Luvvie: KABLAMO!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha
Kindred: HAHHAHHAHAHA. that table got sweet revenge
Luvvie: humpty dumpty had a great fall!!!
Kindred: I think it kicked her in the ass. Literally
Luvvie: why is she writhing on the ground like a snake? Her spine AND her dignity r hurt
Kindred: whale down! Get the harpoons!
Luvvie: hahahahaha she just laid on the floor
Kindred: so, she's not getting up?
Luvvie: Lamenting her life
Kindred: poor decision making
Luvvie: LMAO!! Cue the violins
Kindred: notably, the wedges are still on
Luvvie: humpty dumpty don’t wanna b put 2getha again
Kindred: Who she talking to? Jesus? He on't wanna hear that
Luvvie: her bruised ego
Kindred: He too busy laughing
Luvvie: Jesus: “I aint tell u to do that.”
Kindred: ha! Her hair hat is crooked

Luvvie: why is her hair all askew???
Kindred: and so are her spectacles
Luvvie: LMAO!! There r TEARS coming out my eyes. TEARS
Kindred: My lifespace is complete
Luvvie: My life's mission is accomplished
Luvvie: she looks like an ACME cartoon character
Kindred: this, my friend, is why we need the internet
Luvvie: I agree. imo get fired laughing so hard. OMG,
Kindred: I can't breathe. I feel sorry for the table. who's gonna be its advocate?
Luvvie: the table is the TRUE victim here. it lost its life to the pure recklessness, and truly, selfishness of humptisha
Kindred: I’m pretty sure that it's against the law to sell a table with a sign saying "fatties, don't buy me"

Luvvie: lmao or... how bout "bish stand on me and u going DOWN”. the table DID creak a coupla times. it did ALL it could
Kindred: a frail, frail cry. couldn't handle all that raw emotion
Luvvie: we must remember this day in honor of that table so it won’t have lost its life in vain. we shall call 2moro "national honor thy table" day
Kindred: yeah, I think I'ma polish mine when I get home
Luvvie: yeah my desk is gon get flowers tomorrow
Kindred: that table went out like a G tho! like, she bounced offa it twice before falling on her @ss. maybe it used to be Chuck Norris' table
Luvvie: the table went "eff this. I’m out. I don’t need to take this from u or anybody else"
Kindred: that table had heart, man. real heart
Luvvie: can tables get purple hearts? it REALLY sacrificed itself for the greater good of the people
Kindred: they can if we start a petition

Luvvie: great. we must. for that there table... sniffs. that table went b4 its time
Kindred: i'ma show this vid to all of my tables at home
Luvvie: yeah so they realize they aint taken for granted
Kindred: like "you should be lucky I own you. a big bad diva coulda did you IN. think about that the next time I get a splinter, bish"
Luvvie: she fell ALL the way out and laid there for a full minute. who does that?? lmao!! best. vid. ever. it needs to win award for the "gigglefits"
Kindred: I’m pretty sure she couldn't get up
Luvvie: naw eff that. I was guffawing
Kindred: yeah I bookmarked it. I’m gonna watch it at least 4 times a day
Luvvie: I think it may b a record breaker
Kindred: with good reason! and hopefully, not a table breaker
Luvvie: hahahahahahaha computer desks everywhere cower in fear
Kindred: from the threat of FatFat with Wedges
Luvvie: Sister O’Dell needs to come get her niece
Kindred: and buy her a neck
Luvvie: yeah she leaving screech marks on her chest
Kindred: hopefully that fall straightened out her knock knees
Luvvie: her chin don’t wanna kno her boobs like that. they not its type
Kindred: so, maybe it was a blessing in disguise
Luvvie: blessings come in all forms, types, falls...
Kindred: I’m pretty sure they sell reinforced furniture. though i'm not sure I’d use it for....that
Luvvie: u couldn’t reinforce that shit wit the best industrial steel. It still won’t withstand all that pressha
Kindred: lmao titanium .....and I’m done
Luvvie: hahahah me too. Epic. good day to ya
Kindred: it's after 5 and noneck is making me wait


We are assh*les. And we are okay with that. © Luvvie. 2008